Today I want to share about a trip that me and my family are planning for the summer next year and to use that as an example of how dreams get squashed!
This academic year our children will finish school and college and as such there is an opportunity to take a trip abroad at lower prices before the schools and colleges officially finish for the summer.
For a month or so we have been toying with where we’ll go. Ideas have been expressed and then practicalities (usually weather) have been explored and the idea has been rejected. We know what we want; warm, dry weather and an adventure.
An idea…
Finally at the weekend the idea of Indonesia came back. Initially it had been dismissed because I’ve been there before but this time it came with a feeling of excitement.
We could fly into Jakarta and then travel overland through Java to Bali and Lombok. Talking about it with my husband as we walked the dog in the sun sounded like it would be really fun and totally achievable.
Then a few hours later, after the initial excitement had worn off, in came the doom-filled thoughts.
As always centred about the issue of finding food for my daughter who has coeliac disease.
In flooded past experiences of her not feeling safe eating out; of getting upset by having no choice and feeling scared to eat in case she got ill.
And bam, in an instant, the idea looked ridiculous and became much smaller; we’ll just visit Bali, where after a cursory bit of research, I could see had 100% gluten free establishments.
And there it was…
How dreams gets squashed!
The process of how a spark of excitement for something we want can become reduced to a smaller ‘safer’ alternative. And in that, compromise and dreams never being realised.
And it is so easy to see how a life goes from excitement-filled, dream land as a small child to a life of ‘making-do’; of discontent and unhappiness.
But here, something is different. Because in a flash I saw that two things were going on…
‘Problems’
Firstly, the practical, ‘real-world’ problem of feeding my daughter when away from home.
Secondly, the insane ramblings of an identity that believes itself to be in control and separate from the intelligence that clearly runs it.
The former, a problem entirely ‘solvable.’ Throw resources here – time and energy – to research and discover what’s possible with either a trip happening or not based on real-life information.
The latter, a ‘problem’ created by the mind which can never be solved. Another way to put it, a problem created in thought that can never be solved by more thought. Throw resources here – time and energy – and either exhaustion happens, or the dream is discarded to ‘preserve time and energy’.
And so, seeing this, attention has been placed on researching what’s possible.
Into reality…
What places could we visit that have gluten free food available? Where could we stay so that we could cook for ourselves? How can we communicate what her needs are to chefs and restaurant owners?
Conversations have been had with my daughter about her willingness to eat rice, fruit and vegetables when no other options arise. Enquiries have been undertaken (and continue) around the beliefs that exist about my daughter, food and coeliac disease (like, ‘she has to eat or I’m a bad parent’ – (mind-created ‘problem’))…
And so, the contraction has expanded again. The dream has not been discarded.
Possibility exists.
And as it is for me, so it is for you. We all work the same way.
Your turn…
So next time you notice something you want being squashed and legitimised away, stop for a moment to question what is going on.
Is there a ‘real world’ problem to be dealt with or is the ‘problem’ one of the mind, created from thought, believed?
Let me know what you discover.
And if you’d like to talk an apparent problem through with me, book an exploratory call and we’ll see what’s possible…
Alternatively, there are a few spaces left on my Truth and Freedom Group starting on 3rd October 2024 where we’ll be exploring this and more. Find out more here.
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