In this article I explore the freedom that comes from allowing and accepting emotions and I liken emotions to the weather.
What if every emotion was okay?
This week I asked a client what it would be like if anxiety was okay.
I asked her to consider the fact that anxiety was just like any other emotion, whether it be happiness or sadness, anger or resistance.
What if they were all okay?
What if there was no difference between them and it was just human to experience emotions?
She paused for a long time while the reality of that hit her.
What if that were true? What if anxiety was no different from happiness but it was just an emotion that was passing through us?
Consider that, aside for our thinking about the emotion, the resistance to it, it would pass through?
Just allowing and accepting our emotions is not to be undervalued.
When we see that every emotion, every feeling, is equal to each other, that they are created from the same energy, then we are free.
Without the story about them being ‘good’ or ‘bad’ then emotions just ‘are’.
It is just the judgement about whether we can or can’t have them that makes them so powerful.
In accepting emotions just as they are, they are free to pass through us quicker.
An insight about sadness
This week I had an insight about sadness.
For as long as I can remember I haven’t ‘allowed’ myself to be sad.
I’ve been scared that if I allowed sadness in I wouldn’t come out of it; that I might fall into a pit of despair that I could never escape from. That it was because of sadness that people became depressed.
I’ve therefore spent a lot of energy fighting sadness. Not allowing it to show itself. Distracting myself when I felt sad and not even liking to see other people sad.
This wasn’t a conscious thing.
I was completely unaware that I was doing it.
But I noticed one morning last week when I got out of bed that I felt sad. There was no reason for my sadness; I just felt sad.
In my usual attempt to ‘get rid of it’ I got out of bed, put my running kit on, got the dog and went out the house for a jog.
I then attempted to change my emotions by listening to a podcast. I I thought it would move me out of my sadness.
After five minutes of listening I had a realisation about what I was doing.
I realised that I was trying once again to distract myself from feeling sad. I was attempting to change my feelings by doing something different.
In having that realisation I stopped listening to the podcast and just allowed the sadness to come through me.
What I noticed was that by the time I got back to the house the sadness was gone and I hadn’t done anything to get rid of it. I just allowed it to be there and in the allowing of it, it passed.
Emotions come from thoughts
We are often not aware of our thoughts but we are normally aware of our feelings and emotions.
But emotions and feelings come from our thoughts.
When we know that thoughts are temporary, neutral and naturally pass through us, there is nothing we need to do with them.
The same is true for feelings and emotions. They are experienced in our body as a direct result of the thoughts we are having. Therefore they are temporary too.
If we hold no judgement about them they will pass through us.
When we have a feeling or emotion that we don’t like there is nothing we need to do.
If we just allow it then the feeling or emotion will pass, just as the thought associated with it will.
It is as though we are experiencing weather.
When it’s cloudy outside, or it’s raining or thundering, we don’t try to do anything about it. We know that we can’t change it but that it will change all on its own. It will be wet and then it won’t be wet anymore.
And that’s the same with our with our feelings and emotions.
Feelings and emotions are just ‘weather’ passing through our system.
When we accept that the weather outside is as it is we have an easier day.
If it’s raining we might not like it, but the sooner we accept it, pick up an umbrella and embrace it, the better.
And it’s just the same with our feelings and emotions.
When we accept them we are free to get on with our day, knowing that without doing anything they will change all on its own.
I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. Let me know in the comments below.
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